Isabella Jones Poet Free verse

The Mind That Finally Rises

Thump thump thump 

My beating heart stills ever so slightly

Thump THump THUMP

I wake up clutching my chest (what was that)

I say due to my mind being a dreadful place

Tock tic toc

The clock chimes (It’s so silent I can hear my breath)

I blink I sit still I be silent..

Then I hear it that god awful sound of crickets chirping nothing more and nothing less.

Is this silence..just the inactivity of my mind or something much more lethal.

I can’t even begin to fathom the thought of it being my oldest enemy (My oldest enemy…the dark)

Tick tick tick 

Tick TOC TOC

that damn clock

It needs to shut up (It’s driving me insane I can’t take this pain)

Shut up…I hear a whisper say..

But the only thing in the room is my own face.

Thump thump thump 

THAT DAMN DREADED BEAT..

Beat of my breathe

Best of my drum

Beat of my life… (the life I want to live outside this house)

Creek CREEEEK CREEEEEEEK

the sound of the door swaying in the wind.

It’s going to drive me nuts again 

With how much of an indifference this house is…it’s a miracle I have survived this long.

“hey you”

There’s that voice again.

“your nothing..you have no one who truly cares..”

SHUT UP I shout till my longs can no longer take in air..

“that’s not true..I have a boyfriend who loves me as much as I love him”

I hear that dreaded whisper let out a sullen snicker 

“keep telling yourself that..lie to your face..we both know that true love isn’t written in the stars for someone like you”

A beat 

Then a pause

Nothing but the 

Thump thump thump of my heart

Then time seems to slow down as I suddenly rise 

I get up and dunk my head in the sink.

I open my eyes as water falls down my eyes..

But to my surprise I taste salt..

There’s no salt in the water I think

But then it strikes me..

My tears are flowing freely because of my own thoughts and words

But no longer will I be a victim 

Of this dreaded curse

curse of my own thoughts 

Curse of the dark swallowing me whole

Curse of people around me thinking I’m nothing but a joke

“YOU CANT HURT ME TODAY YOU CANT HURT ME NO MORE I CHOOSE MY DESTINY OVER THIS INNER WAR”

The whisper says nothing in fact it seems to crack

“But you are worthless and weak”

A pause then a beat

“THE ONLY THING WORTHLESS AND WEAK HERE IS YOU….you are not me and I am not you..there was a time in my life where I myself was my own worst enemy..but I don’t care what you or others think”

I smile a smile so bright the whisper hisses 

“I’m finally free from the leash you try to pull..your control over me is null and void so go crawl back to your hole of fear and death”

I laugh a little knowing that I can nearly rest

“I don’t care what you think I know I’m the best…THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF…The best version of the woman I wish to be..because things like you..will no longer chain me” (you won’t chain me because I am choosing myself not your negativity)

(It’s things like you that no longer have a pull..they no longer have a hold..cause I’m a bird that’s broken free from its cage and today is the day I say no way)

(So I say goodbye with my head held high..because I choose me the best version of me myself and I..and I choose that I will not let my emotions or I die)

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