The Man of My Dreams...
I sit here alone and I think –
There’s no way you can be real…
I must have imagined you, two hours ago,
When you made love to me,
On my rumpled white sheets
When you kissed me like we were only two,
The only two lovers in this wide and wicked world…
I must have imagined the perfume of your skin,
The brown chocolate of your eyes –
Twin stars, blazing light, searing through my mind…
I must have imagined your head cushioned,
Cradled, so tenderly, on my loving lap
I must have imagined the silk of your hair,
Shining inky strands between my fingers,
As I stroked your head and coaxed you into dreams
I know I must have imagined it, love,
Because the fact of you just cannot be true –
And you and me together is a lie I dare not speak
For I am just a plain girl, with a corrupted soul,
And you are the man I have dreamed of all my life –
But wishes, surely, never really come true?
I find it impossible to dare to believe that mine actually has…
Even when an hour ago you stood before me, shirtless,
Your hair in glorious disarray, and called me ‘beloved’;
Even then I thought I must still be caught up in sleep,
Fairy dust sprinkled in the corners of my eyes…
I could not believe that Eros himself stood casually in my room,
Desert sunlight filtering through the curtains,
Catching you in its soft gilded halo…
I could not believe that as we sat on the couch,
Your arms around me like the most beautiful chains,
I could not believe that, for those moments at least,
You were mine…
You were all deliciously beautifully mine…
And now that you are gone I sit here in dumb disbelief,
Recalling in perfect detail every feature of your face,
Every pore on your tawny skin…
And I think to myself, it is all over now, surely
I will never hear from you again,
For you were only a dream, weren’t you, beauty?
And if not, you are too good for me, too perfect,
Too divine…a deity beside my humble clay doll
A god who blessed me with his touch, his kiss,
Who granted my prayers just this once…
Isn’t that so, love?
Or will you be back again tomorrow as you said,
Every day, as you said –
Will you marry me - as you said?
Or will my suspected fate come to take me,
On the wings of your sweet angel’s breath –
Will I find myself cast aside into the dark?
Forbidden even one last kiss from your honeyed lips…
And will I die there, alone, my shattered heart in pieces
Glinting like diamond confetti strewn about my feet…
Copyright © Amy Van De Casteele | Year Posted 2009
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