The Loop

(This is my first poem about myself, please comment.) I wake up every single day telling myself everything is okay. I laugh, joke and smile but that will only last a while. Then I get home, and take off the mask in a feeling of self identity i long to bask. Everything I do is just a distraction because i know i'll never have any self-satisfaction As I lay down alone in my room alone a i can wish is that i have a clone. Maybe they can live a better life where they don't end everyday with a knife. The clock goes off so i put the mask on again I look in the mirror and see a woman, I'm sure that's what everyone can see but that's not who I'm supposed to be. I smile, laugh and joke it makes me want to choke No, what I said was a lie It makes me want to die. My life is just like a clock rewinding everyday, tic-tock and again I walk down the same path which always ends in a bloodbath. I keep telling myself to go a different route but I don't and it makes me want to shout. Day after day I go back there, How much more must I bear? Today is the day I finally learned. At that corner is where I turned. In the end there is no bloodshed, so maybe i won't end up dead.