The Life That I Do Not Want
It didn't hurt anymore
the people who never cared ,the society who condemned me
nor the lack of love and care
I withdrew into my own shell
reminding myself that I have to be alive
There were cuts on my thighs ,my shoulders and my belly
deep gashes I call them
each one reminding me of a sour past
and how I would rush to the bathroom to cut myself
I was not psychic this was my relief mantra
There were pills in my pouch, suicidal pills you might call them
I call them my confidence pills
the fact that I could end my hopeless travel in this world
urged me to move forward
I was alone lonely in the crowded classrooms, lonely in busy hallways
Each time someone or something would hurt me all I could think was getting back
to my razor sharp knife and the peace I would get when the blood would flow down my body and merge with the little pool of tears already formed on the cold bathroom floor.................
Copyright © Shreyas Susan | Year Posted 2016
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