The Last Cigarette
I would break
Every bone, law, promise
For the version of you I still hold on to
Soft blue eyes
Rough calloused hands
with faded knuckle tattoos
Sarcastic tongue
With
Dominant magnetism
Who jokingly
Rolled their eyes at me
Cause I took life too serious
My stress-driven tears
Wiped away instantly with laughter
Every time I saw your face
Drawing invisible hearts
With your finger
Around my wounded wrist
Whispering how ugly the world is
But I somehow
Made your life better
You relied on
The smile-inducing adrenaline
To outrun immature mistakes
In Vans barely held together
With asphalt scrapes
And marker-colored shoe laces
Dad’s stolen bourbon in your veins
Counting stars
On a picnic table in the park
Giving each one
A home for the dreams
You never talk about
The ones
Your friends
Would make fun of
Like how you would
Snap your last cigarette
In half
For the thought of getting married
Having a big family
Moving to the better part of town
In a house
With decorations
Not liquor bottles and ashtrays
Walls strong
With structure
And warmth
A job you love
You wish you could
Brag about to your dad
“One day
That’ll be our life”
You’d say
And I’d smile
So big
Felt like my chest was caving in
The weight
Is suffocating
Nowadays
I go to bed
On my own
And wake up the same
I crumble up
So much writing
And fake amnesia with my dreams
Cause I’ve felt
Every corner
Of happiness there is
Substances
Hypnotism
Men I convinced myself I loved
They just never
Made me feel
The way you did
While you
Broke
Your last cigarette
And it
Landed
By her feet
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