The Kitchen Fitter
The Kitchen Fitter
As the wire set alight I cursed his low born name
Then he hit me with a bill and I said you go to hell.
To court he did take me, to pay he was going to make me.
The first appearance was a joke, the judge in squash shorts and a coat
He wanted time to read the papers thoroughly through and through
The kitchen fitter looked smug, but I said just watch your mug
He said, you will have to pay and I told him, no, no way
I said if you do proceed you will greatly regret this deed
The fitter laughed as he told me that he could have bought and sold me
But in court I was to have the last laugh on him.
I stood there and defended my reason not to pay
The judge looked bored to him this was just another day
I said that it’s a crime and for it the fitter should do time
And a counter case I proceeded to relay
Just ask the low born fitter what bad parts he used that day
I began.
It is a criminal offence to take to court on some pretence
When you know that you don’t really have a claim
So I turned the tables on him, and the judge demanded to know
Hey you kitchen fitter, just what do you think is your game?
I proclaimed that he used faulty parts and that he knew it
And as the fire started their defence was gone because the fuses blew it
The judge decreed that I must succeed and he did proceed
To throw out the spurious claim for pay
I then related quietly that he had kept me up nightly
wondering how to put right the dubious work he did on that day.
The judge looked at me and he said oh I can guarantee
That the kitchen fitter will now be the one to pay
There will be compensation and I make a declaration
That if he comes before me in any shape or form again
Not only will he pay but he’ll come to rue the day
That he ever set foot in this court and your name tried to defame.
© 17/04 2013-04-17 Dragon, One Fitter Nil.
Contest entry: The Dragon Slayer Contest. True Story
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