The Jacob Hour

Consumed with the fervor of the day In my children's room I knelt alone And cowered low before the throne My mortal sins, O there to cast away The lights were off, and silence reigns Alone with me in all the lonely place I found it opportune to plead for grace For I knew burden where my spirit stains And I his sweet pulpiteer would reclaim My first innocence that bore his image best And so with guilt and faith set then to wrest For sovereign of my breast, I marked my aim. With tears suppliant my heart did pour And plead for mercy and power more That I may find my ark an open door And he my love may keep, and I to soar. Then suddenly the climate of the silence change A presence not human, and not met before Around my shoulder held me to the floor Faith fled me in awe, my body shook strange I rose and went from room to room to find What frivolous friend or child would play With such a fragile fume of fumbling clay I stood in emptiness, alone, alone and blind. Nerving my sense against the certainty of truth I knelt again, shaking from the first embrace With form that had no sight, or manifest of face I knelt as man again and fled as brute. What God would come down and hug me hard And near, while with a distant voice call my name When I was not ready for death or the flame What was I to do with the presence of the Lord? I was not set to be a Jacob, to wrestle who I could not see, my brawn of faith was thin then Yet though I stood as his apostle before men I fled the house, and fear more since none pursue.