The Jacob Hour
Consumed with the fervor of the day
In my children's room I knelt alone
And cowered low before the throne
My mortal sins, O there to cast away
The lights were off, and silence reigns
Alone with me in all the lonely place
I found it opportune to plead for grace
For I knew burden where my spirit stains
And I his sweet pulpiteer would reclaim
My first innocence that bore his image best
And so with guilt and faith set then to wrest
For sovereign of my breast, I marked my aim.
With tears suppliant my heart did pour
And plead for mercy and power more
That I may find my ark an open door
And he my love may keep, and I to soar.
Then suddenly the climate of the silence change
A presence not human, and not met before
Around my shoulder held me to the floor
Faith fled me in awe, my body shook strange
I rose and went from room to room to find
What frivolous friend or child would play
With such a fragile fume of fumbling clay
I stood in emptiness, alone, alone and blind.
Nerving my sense against the certainty of truth
I knelt again, shaking from the first embrace
With form that had no sight, or manifest of face
I knelt as man again and fled as brute.
What God would come down and hug me hard
And near, while with a distant voice call my name
When I was not ready for death or the flame
What was I to do with the presence of the Lord?
I was not set to be a Jacob, to wrestle who
I could not see, my brawn of faith was thin then
Yet though I stood as his apostle before men
I fled the house, and fear more since none pursue.
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