Shahana Jackson Poet Free verse

The Idea

Sometimes I can be
       so cynical 
    But isn't every teen? 
   I'm so confused
   I wanted you 
  But I fell in love
   with the idea 
   of what  you could mean
    A boyfriend 
    Someone to hold hands with
     A person that I could brag about
   A change of the status on my space account
   I fell in love with the idea of being in love
     For a moment the loneliness 
      Blurred my sense of worth 
      I thought being with you
      could heal all my past pain
      I wanted so much for us
      cause the idea never seized
      My friends were so happy
      when they realized that 
      I was no longer single
   Now double dates were possible
    and I didn't feel so minuscule
    Compared to my friends  
     who were all deeply falling
      I wanted to belong 
     It hurts being out the box
       It hurts being alone
      So I fell in love
       with the idea 
         of being with you
           and maybe 
         that's what ruined us 
       Maybe we were doomed
              from the start

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