Stephen Kilmer Poet Free verse

The Hole In My Soul

I dug a hole in the backyard last night.  
When I started digging I was thinking about death
Perhaps I would just lie down and die,
But then I realized it was not for dying but for living.
It was designed to remove the cancer from my soul
It was a gold mine… destined to be excavated by me
So I took off my clothes and rubbed myself down with gasoline.
I was hard and lean and if I stood just right in that pit I could feel the ashes

I lit my hair on fire and watched it burn
I had no fear.
Not even a tattooed tear for I new it was meant to heal.
As the flames got closer I lowered myself to the ground
And took on a depreciated yoga pose that would heal my soul
Crouching fool
Squatting idiot
Something more irreverent than Judas standing before the cross

As the daylight broke over my dreams I realized that I was paralyzed
A heliograph in the sky stared down on me
Daring me to look back.
Blind yourself and wrap yourself in barbed wire.
Walk down the hall sideways
Know no fear
Heal thyself fool.

I will do this every night, night after night,
Until I find the truth.
This is the end and I have no place else to go.
It is the last place to measure out my life.
Keep digging
Or stop?
That is the question they ask all the losers.
Me I am going to keep on digging
Because this hole is all I have.

As published in the Taj Mahal Review Vol.2, Number 2, DEC 2013

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Andrea Dietrich January 29, 2014 at 9:41 PM Stephen, I don't do this often, but I had to come back to your very first poem and tell you that I find your your poetry fascinating. Naturally, I would find the poet who writes this way interesting as well. One of the marks of a good poet is to have a great conclusion. This certainly passes the test! What a great poem. Wish I could write more often in free verse as you seem to be doing! A FAVE for a new favorite poet I have discovered at Soup. Stephen Kilmer January 29, 2014 at 10:43 PM Thanks Andrea you are too kind. I wish I could write in some other styles but I guess I need more discipline. Free Verse just comes much more natural to me. Glad you liked it~Kilmer

Laura Breidenthal August 5, 2013 at 8:04 PM I say congratulations on such a well-written poem. This is so deep. One cannot possibly feel the same as the writer, but the words are so deep and hit familiar spots in my heart. What a vivid, powerful piece. Always, Laura Stephen Kilmer September 1, 2013 at 12:56 PM Thank you Laura. I just saw this post. Would love to hear from you again. I have been reading your poetry and as always I am in awe. Kilmer - always

Karen Anglesey July 26, 2013 at 7:07 PM Stephen, your expressions are deep and you really have a philosophical (Socrates and Plato) quality. I will be reading more of your work. Lots to ponder :) Stephen Kilmer July 26, 2013 at 8:13 PM Socrates...Plato...oh my you are too kind. My head may be to big to fit through a door. but I think I will be humble instead. And thank you so much for your poems and the luck that I found someone worth knowing. Read on for the realm is abound with fools! Stephen Kilmer July 26, 2013 at 7:11 PM Karen, Many thanks. I love your work as well. I will be reading all of it. Thanks for your kind words. See you in the soup... :)

Poet Destroyer A June 23, 2013 at 6:30 AM Good morning, Stephen congratulations with having your poem featured on the soups home page. Take care and enjoy the coming week. ~XOX~ *LIND

Joe Maverick June 17, 2013 at 3:09 PM congrats on winning

Stephen Kilmer June 16, 2013 at 10:58 AM Thank you. I didn't realize I had won. Thanks to Linda for asking me to submit. I have many more poems and hope to get them submitted as time permits. Till then "The road goes on forever and the party never ends."

Mandy Tams The Golden Girl June 16, 2013 at 3:08 AM Congratulations Stephen xx

Len Gasun June 16, 2013 at 2:59 AM Congratulations on your awesome win my dear Stephen. This is a very sad but beautiful poem. Thanks a lot for sharing! love and hugs, Leonora

Poet Destroyer A June 15, 2013 at 12:42 PM Stephen , CONGRATULATIONS!!! Thank you for entering this wonderful loving poem. Thank you for the warm feeling and smiles!!! I posted a sweet blog, to all who took the time in supporting my contest "ALL ABOUT ME..." **YES I SMILE** :-) ~xox~ LINDA

Skat A June 10, 2013 at 8:15 PM Hi Stephen, this is a cool and fascinating first poem on the soup... I will come back and read more if you like. This hear my friend is a sweet Welcome to Poetry Soup. Wishing you the best when it comes to your poems. I hope you get to meet all the nice poets around here. Starting with me. SKAT :-) Please drop a hello and tell me a little about yourself if you like. I would like to be your newest poetry soup fan....... God Bless........... Hugs* SKAT

Poet Destroyer A June 9, 2013 at 9:32 PM Stephen, wow. them are deep thoughts. I kind of felt as if I was watching you dig your own grave. you are wrong when you said the hole is all you have.. dig deeper and you will find more... Dropping in with a nice warm WELCOME to poetry soup. My name is Linda; I’m here to invite you on over to my latest contest. You will find the contest page on the top left hand side* please consider my contest* hopefully you find this place to be the comfort zone your writing pen is looking for. If you ever need or want honest feedback on a certain poem let me know. Stop by anytime you like. I’m looking forward in following you and your poetry. Hope to hear from you soon. You will enjoy this community; we are one big happy family. (Drama & Love. LOL) ~ Take Care!! From: your new poet friend Linda Stephen Kilmer July 5, 2013 at 7:26 PM Them???????