Notes About The Poem
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The Great Witches Bake Off
The Great Witches Bake Off is here again
Bakes so weird some have no name.
So fierce it was to be the winner,
The prize is fame, on Lucifer's underworld twitter.
Laughing and cackling but alert and suspicious
Each convinced their bake, unique and delicious.
Erin was making a blood drizzle cake
Three pints of pigs blood is what it would take.
Weevils were left in that thrived in the flour
Add three rancid eggs for a flesh rotting aroma.
Sprinkles of gun powder to help make it rise
But don't breath it in for your eyes would triple in size.
Val was attempting bubble and squeak pie
Every mouse could be heard, that is no lie.
A bubble collection of freezed dried frog spawn
Mix in some feathers from a unwilling white swan.
A few bunches of hemlock, carrots, turnips and greens
The poison so hot, you could hear screams from your spleen.
Wilma was busy stuffing a dozen bat heads,
With slivers of blood veins torn into threads.
Bat crumble with a topping of air fried bat legs,
Which gives a harsh crunch and a gross looking sealed edge.
Served with a dollop of deadly nightshade ice-cream
So potent you would hallucinate kindness in dreams.
Fairy cakes were made by cousin Nell,
Who was expelled when she was caught casting a spell.
The wings of dead fairies placed on top of her bakes,
Escaped out the window exposing her cheating mistake.
She cursed, swore revenge as she was escorted out
A witch trial there be, there be no doubt.
Who did win? who claimed the prize?
It was Maggie the cat with her eye-spy-berry surprise.
For Frankie Stein Horner had hid in a dark corner,
As Maggies assistant and back stabbing informer.
Their deal was a lifetime of pies, for that was his dream
As Maggie quietly purred whilst licking her got cream.
18.10.24
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