The Gap
I don't know what to do
How to be there
How to show up
Without breaking something sacred
Or being turned away
So I stand, in the gap
The gap of the silent
The gap of the not knowing
But somehow still doing
Because life doesn't stop
Just because I can't find the map
Because life doesn't wait
For clarity, I'll get that along the way
Or courage
Or the right kind of knowing
It moves, relentless
Like a tide that drags you even as you cling to the shore
I don't know what to say
How to be the presence that heals
Or even if I'm meant to be
So I linger
Half inside, half outside
Watching through the window of someone else's ache
And sometimes, guilt lingers like smoke
For standing here with hands full with of intentions and nowhere to set them
For not being let in
For not knowing if I even should be
Still I show up, in the quiet
In the not knowing
In the whispered prayers
In the small space between absence and effort
Where maybe love still counts, even when it stumbles
Holding what I can't fix
Loving what I can't reach
Maybe the gap doesn't close
And that's the part that hurts the most
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