The first time
The first time that cold sharp metal blade slid across your skin while you were lying on the bathroom floor was the first moment you realised you were as mentally deluded as you thought you were
The blood that dripped down your leg gave you a sense of comfort and warmth that was unmatched
Opening up your skin was easier then letting someone inside ur heart, creating scars that will never heal made u feel alive making your heart pumping with adrenaline
The first time you compared urself to the skinnier slimmer prettier girls made you self conscious, every time you passed a mirror you saw more flaws in yourself, more pieces of yourself u could depict and compare
The crippling feeling that you are insufferable creeps up into ur mind taking control of it like a puppeteer and you are the puppet
The first time you realised you were a mistake, a disappointment a failure made you seek that blade again and again and again until you layed in a pool of your blood lying on the freezing bathroom floor, the same place you sat the first night you dragged the cold sharp metal blade on your skin.
The blade whispered to you like an old friend, it was an unbreakable habit, you were so helpless laying on that bathroom floor that first time not knowing it would lead to this.
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