The Fat Man At the Buffet
The Fat Man at the Buffet
By Elton Camp
Saturday eve, we thought it might be nice
To go to “All-You-Can-Eat-for-One Price.”
But as we were standing in the line to pay
We spotted quite a man on down the way
The fellow must weigh five hundred pounds
Managers came and left with worried frowns
We wonder that, since that one had come around,
They’d take the “All You Can Eat” sign down
When he gets in there and his food does choose
Much of the night’s profits they are sure to lose
Rather than a plate, the big man grabbed a tray
So he could pile much more by doing that way
As soon as he spied the delicious sirloin steak,
It wasn’t just one or two, but five he did take
Then he came to the huge container of fried fish,
He snatched fast. All but two of them he did wish
Fried chicken he surely must like the very best
He loaded his tray: legs, thighs, wings and breast
Then came potatoes, gravy, tomatoes, corn, rice
Finally, many types of bread did the man entice
When the biggest table el gordo managed to find
Then it required two chairs to hold his huge behind
The waitress came over to ask him about his drink
“I’ll take lemonade, Coke, Pepsi, and Sprite, I think.”
We couldn’t get our food until more was brought
The glutton had taken so much more than he ought
We made our selections, but it wasn’t long before
The enormous man came back to get some more
And then when our meal was very near complete,
We saw him getting the dessert he wanted to eat
Chocolate cake, ice cream, cookies, and apple pie
He saw no reason why he shouldn’t all of them try
Manager gave a sigh of relief when he left the place
“A man who eats like that is nothing but a disgrace.”
To the cashier he said, “If you see another of those,
Then very firmly tell him that this place is closed.”
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