The Fat Man At the Buffet

The Fat Man at the Buffet By Elton Camp Saturday eve, we thought it might be nice To go to “All-You-Can-Eat-for-One Price.” But as we were standing in the line to pay We spotted quite a man on down the way The fellow must weigh five hundred pounds Managers came and left with worried frowns We wonder that, since that one had come around, They’d take the “All You Can Eat” sign down When he gets in there and his food does choose Much of the night’s profits they are sure to lose Rather than a plate, the big man grabbed a tray So he could pile much more by doing that way As soon as he spied the delicious sirloin steak, It wasn’t just one or two, but five he did take Then he came to the huge container of fried fish, He snatched fast. All but two of them he did wish Fried chicken he surely must like the very best He loaded his tray: legs, thighs, wings and breast Then came potatoes, gravy, tomatoes, corn, rice Finally, many types of bread did the man entice When the biggest table el gordo managed to find Then it required two chairs to hold his huge behind The waitress came over to ask him about his drink “I’ll take lemonade, Coke, Pepsi, and Sprite, I think.” We couldn’t get our food until more was brought The glutton had taken so much more than he ought We made our selections, but it wasn’t long before The enormous man came back to get some more And then when our meal was very near complete, We saw him getting the dessert he wanted to eat Chocolate cake, ice cream, cookies, and apple pie He saw no reason why he shouldn’t all of them try Manager gave a sigh of relief when he left the place “A man who eats like that is nothing but a disgrace.” To the cashier he said, “If you see another of those, Then very firmly tell him that this place is closed.”