The Ex
Your words sear me like hot metal on my flesh
You brand me with your requests and empty promises
You just can’t or refuse to see
You can’t stomach looking in the mirror
For fear of what you just might find
To have to point the finger at yourself
To lay the blame on yourself
I try to tell you but it falls on deaf ears
The thought of putting your selfishness aside
At the sake of someone you say you love
You are blind to your self-centerness
For you are the sun and everything else are just planets
As long as you benefit in some form or fashion
To heck with anything else
You’re so quick to pass judgment
So quick to point out past mistakes
Just to get the spotlight off of you
So you don’t have to see yourself for who you really are
This is nothing but a masquerade
And your bravado is so pitiful
You think you show courage, bravery, strength?
Your true colors are spite, deceit, bitterness
Your words are nothing but false hopes
Because your actions are what holds the real you
I don’t know what to believe anymore
You want to make this all about you, the “victim”
But you never once question, never once consider
How I came to this point, that it must be only me
God forbid you could’ve done something different
No you did everything you thought you could
So that you can sleep better at night
If someone has to be the bad guy
Rather it be me than you right?
So quick to throw up all my faults and failures
But too selfish to even entertain the idea
That maybe, just maybe this was you too
Nope, I am the way I am because of me
I am the one who chose to walk away
I am the one not thinking of everyone else
No for once I am thinking of me
And it kills you that I am not putting you first
That I am not taking care of you
That I am not taking care of everything
That you have to stand up for once
And do it all on your own
So it’s resentment you hold toward me
Because I am not there to make everything easy
That you actually have to try, to make an effort
For once I am not doing it all, putting in the most
How nice it is for you to have to figure it all out
To watch you fumble, like a lost and scared child
Because that is what you are, a child
You have caused this hollowness in my chest
You have turned me into the Tin Man
You have pushed me away, no one else to blame
After being took advantage of, used and abused
Someone can only handle it so long
Copyright © A Rambling Righting Riley - Shauna Riley | Year Posted 2011
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