The Endless Mistake

This is so like me To fall into a deep dark hole Without a way to dig myself out I repeat this terrible mistake every time Stumble down the same blind path Littered with the entrails of slaughtered longings I feel the same old tug of festering desire Chase it with starry eyes and a cynical smile But then the inevitable chasm yawns open at my feet And in I tumble like a helpless rag doll Of course I should know better I should have opened my eyes and blinked away the cobwebs Torn down the shroud of infatuation you threw over me… For so many times have I been led astray By the dream of a lover that could never be real And this time it was you who drew me down that shadowed path You who threw the stardust in my eyes You who conjured the bottomless black gulf You are the flitting gilded butterfly I’m the gormless fool with the net You’re the shining gold at the end of the rainbow But the rainbow is misty and blood-spattered and dark And I can’t see it through my dusty tears Yet on I go, on and on Chasing you through the bitter bright days Drifting through the nights spinning a web of tangled hopes Shattered dreams A web with which to snare you But how can one ever capture a ghost? A shadow of the heart’s deepest longing? For that is all you are – a phantom of my desire And I’m just a lonely little girl with a love too big for her skin to restrain… Trapped in the bottom of a deep dark hole Waiting and praying for you to lift me out And sweep me off my weary feet