The Cycle I Can’t Break

i done it again after months of resisting it
a tear fell as i picked it up, knowing i would regret it the next morning
i held the pin as my trembling hands tried to work the lighter
i closed my eyes
as i held the hot metal against my skin
it felt like a relief 
distracting me
from the thoughts i try so hard to get away from

the next morning i wake and panic as my mum walks in the door, rushing to cover my arm that still stings from the night before
i look down at what i’ve done to myself and instantly regret it

the following night i’ll pick it up and do it again,
knowing it’s bad and not a good way to cope i watch as my skin turns red as my eyes fill with tears and the pain goes through my body
its weird though
because most people would scream at that pain but to me it makes me feel relieved

and maybe on day i’ll find a way to stop
Copyright © | Year Posted 2026

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Agustin Avatar
April 7, 2026 at 12:05 AM
Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Welcome to Poetry Soup. I welcome you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.
Steinmetz Avatar
April 6, 2026 at 2:52 PM
this is truly heartbreaking adn a vivid portayal of self harm
Daniels Avatar
April 4, 2026 at 9:51 PM
ThkU for sharing a vulnerability and cycle you find challenging to break, Freya. Very vividly described. Keep writing to process your thoughts as you grapple with this issue. Sending so much Light.
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