The Christian I Am Not

I have been a Christian  for many years,
Hiding behind the mad poet has drenched me with tears
For I am a sinner the chief of them all
Writing poetry that has made me feel appalled

I have coveted, lied, hated and stole
Indulged in adultery with an innocent sole
I have broken my family, and now live in separate homes
While writing perversions of my conquests in poems 

The thing that worries me, is that I feel nothing at all
This is what scares Sidney. C  Hall
I see the ten commandments almost all broken
Save for killing  no words of remorse that are spoken

Am I destined to a life burning  in hell?
As part of the masses with speeches that make heads swell
Denying God and not seeking his Grace
Awaiting the day to say “I have no excuse,” to his face

Or believing a lie that there is no forgiveness
And just going along my ungodly business
Ladies and Gentleman my soul is in turmoil
Sin runs through my veins causing my blood to boil

I say to myself Sid you need to change,
Then the next minute something take me out of range
But I feel nothing, so how can this scare me
If I feel nothing , why is fear in hell, I see

Could this be God preparing my final years
I hope and pray soaked in tears
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

Poem

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Guzzi Avatar
July 30, 2011 at 9:19 AM
These actions you are labeling as sins are LESSONS to you and to those affected by them. NOW YOU don't have to act on the side of destruction! YOU can act on the side of CREATION/love/growth health...YOUR choice BOTH provide necessary function for the health of the Universe/God...you are not a child and you know bad/good, are way too simplex. Light & Love [ahhh so if you don't like the result change the action!]
Guzzi Avatar
July 30, 2011 at 9:17 AM
Syd the whole idea of SIN is infantile? Man is an organizm just like all the rest of the inhabitants of earth & the universe, we act... because we are alive! sometimes the actions cause distruction, decay, death etc [things we see as bad, well all the afforementioned are necessary to maintain the overall health of the larger organizm life/God/the creator/creation, bad/good these are man's terms to discribe and place BLAME]
Pfenning Avatar
July 8, 2011 at 8:47 PM
Wow, very powerful..
Kendrick Avatar
July 3, 2011 at 5:42 PM
Well, Sidney I don't really know how to interpert this one..Are you just joshing or is this the truth? Or is this someone whom you know that is living a hypercritical life?..We are all sinners who are saved by Grace..Once we accept that Jesus came, paid the price, rose again, sits at the right hand of the Father, then we confess as you have our sins or just that we are a sinner and turn from our sin with His help to live better each day then we are on our way..Sara
Warden Avatar
July 3, 2011 at 5:01 PM
Wow, one saved always saved.Very emotional poem.
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