Maurice Yvonne Poet Free verse

The Beat of My Heart

this heart kneads easily
molds to the touch of a lover
this heart needs easy
has a hard time with it's over

i have a heart that bleeds quietly 
my heart has a hard time saying goodbye
cries its drops of blood internally
i know. i'm the one who wipes them dry

my heart sets time easily to another's
a heart too delicate for this world of hammers
it's a candy apple heart it cracks when dropped
my heart is warm and it's here for you to adopt

it latches on to the pain of loving hearts
the ones with complicated moving parts

you can know my heart through my eyes
you can also just touch it on my lips
hear it beating on your walk byes
you can see it when my flesh rips

i guess i should warn you
my heart is wanting too
to be honest it's lonely
so here let me hand you the key

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Andrea Dietrich October 11, 2014 at 6:32 PM that was really sweet where you said "a candy apple heart it cracks when dropped... here for you to adopt" What a cute rhyme!! this was a darling one to find in your "oldies!"

Richard Lamoureux August 14, 2014 at 9:32 AM My pleasure, I think this is a spectacular piece and it would be a shame for a few word placements to distract from it's essence. You are a very good writer and all the other pieces I have read I would not change a thing. I tend to write quickly and often come back two or three times to edit. Even with that I often miss things.

Richard Lamoureux August 14, 2014 at 8:09 AM Second stanza, second line switch "a" to "my" line 4 same stanza consider "I know, I'm the one who wipes them dry" first line Stanza three consider " my heart sets time easily to another's." stanza four consider "it latches". I love the premise of this piece I just feel it is in need of some minor polishing. Maurice Yvonne August 14, 2014 at 9:21 AM thank you so much. i need input and help.i think your suggestions are dead on. it is much appreciated.