That Damn Two Cents!

(This is a fictional poem) I had to pay two cents to the post office because of you. Now opening a can of whoop ___ is what I'm going to have to do. It really makes me mad because money doesn't grow on trees. I would rather have had my privates cut off than to part with those two pennies. You put a thirty-nine cent stamp on the envelope because you forgot that postage has been increased. There should be a law against what you did because I would call the police. When I cussed you out, you had the nerve to call me a creep. Just because I didn't want to part with two cents, you said that I'm cheap.