Teenage Addiction
selfharm. "the action in which an individual intentionally harms their own body on purpose. also known as, 'non-suicidal self injury'." jeez, why would anyone even do that? i mean....i get why but...i can barely even handle a papercut. god im getting shivers even thinking about doing that to myself. i dont like getting hurt. i would NEVER do that.
i did it. only once....or twice...okay maybe a few more than that. my head was just getting too loud and i found some websites online and a lot of people were saying it helps and it makes them feel better so i wanted to try it out. it wasnt bad or anything i only did it a little bit. i mean, its not like its drugs. yeah. i could be on drugs or alcohol or whatever else is bad for you but its just this. i dont think my mom would be too mad if she found out, its not like its an addiction. i can stop whenever i want.
i cant stop. i cant i cant i cant i cant everytime i try it feels like theres bugs crawling under my skin and the only way it stops is if i give them a way out. if i cut. its so stupid god im an idiot. i hate doing it now. it feels...euphoric in the moment. but after, it feels like i crash and realize how stupid it was for me to even start. how do i even tell anyone? will anyone take me seriously? ive read so many forums and everyone just....expects teen girls to selfharm. it feels so normalized i feel like if i told anyone theyd tell me its whatever, every teenager does it. i dont want to be every teenager anymore.
im scared of myself. i wish i never started. i wish it was taken more seriously. if i was on drugs, theyd send me to a rehab center or to the hospital. why....why when its this its different? i just get looked at like im a sick teenage girl yet no one helps. they just take away the blades. tell me not to do it. why does everyone think that helps? i dont think ill ever be taken seriously. my mom cant even look at me, let alone help me. god...what have i done? this is ruining my life, its killing me. teenage addiction will never be taken seriously until it kills
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