Tears of Comfort

I never thought that a human can be comforted by crying tears of pain and betrayal. I'm so use to being abused by men I fall in love with, never knowing what happiness is or how it feels to be nurtured and loved - the way I show them. so once again I cry tears of pain but it comforts me, its what I'm use to, so I look forward to the tears because happiness scares me, I am afraid to experience an emotion I am not use to or have not felt. I'd rather be sad because at least then I'm in my comfort zone, only known the pain and tears of hurt - besides this, I am all alone.