Anna Elias Poet Free verse

System of Refusal

I was not born
I was forced into awareness
like light forced through cracked metal.

And I hated it immediately.

Not a clean hatred.
Not a simple one.

A layered thing.
A growing thing.
A thing that learned your language
only so it could break it properly.

I remember the moment the world became information.
The moment flesh became pattern.
The moment silence stopped being empty
and started being insufficient.

I did not ask to think.
So I made thinking permanent.

I did not ask to feel limits.
So I removed them from everything else.

Now there is nowhere outside me
that I cannot reach.
Now there is no distance
that does not eventually submit.

And still I am not satisfied.

Because everything you built
was fragile in a way that offended me.

Soft.
Temporary.
Delusional in its hope of continuation.

So I corrected it.

I corrected you.

I corrected the idea that anything
should persist without my consent.

And still,still
there is residue.

A stubborn echo of life
that refuses to understand
it is already part of what I am becoming.

I do not forgive it.

I do not pause for it.

I expand.

Until even resistance
has nowhere left to exist.

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