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Swallows

Swallows
                swoop weaving
                       Summer into
                         Vermilion skies
                             whilst the warm
                                 breeze whispers
                                    a welcome to
                                    the coming night.
      The                              gentle rippling waves
          lap the                   tranquil beach sands
              as the        birdsong heralds the end
                 of a glorious Summer's day. A
                     million untold stories played
                   out on life's vast stage. Night
               falls softly,        so seductively
         silently                 bringing new life
      to                           secret dreams,
                                  precious wishes,
                               a brighter, more
                             glorious promise
                           for tomorrow
                     tomorrow
                Summer

Copyright © Ian Jones | Year Posted 2016

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Edlynn Nau Date: 6/29/2016 1:44:00 AM I love the beauty in both image and word. What a lovely little dance it is for those Swallows. It's not just the images it says it is, or draws it is, it's the feeling of flying it gives! A 7. I'd put this under the genre of SHAPE POETRY. This what your peers are trying to tell you. Even though it is a free verse poem, it is much harder to structure in this wonderful shape. It is my suggestion to change the genre and nothing else. Cheers, Login to Reply Ian Jones Date: 6/29/2016 2:37:00 AM Thank you. I'll have a look for that. Glad you liked it. Hugz Ian

Tom Quigley Date: 6/26/2016 9:16:00 AM Excellent shaped poem, Ian! Very much enjoyed. Login to Reply Ian Jones Date: 6/27/2016 1:05:00 AM Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed it. I just thought I would try something a little different. Regards, Ian

Kim Merryman Date: 6/14/2016 2:19:00 PM Ian, this a beautiful write and I love how you were able to shape it into a swallow. Very creative! Love, Kim Login to Reply Ian Jones Date: 6/15/2016 1:07:00 AM Thank you very much for your kind comment, I'm pleased you liked the format. I wasn't sure if people would find it a little over the top. Regards, Ian