Swaggerless, Unpopular and Uncool

Never made to feel welcome, always left out
Bullied and made to feel worthless, I was always kept down
Laughed at for being swaggerless, Unpopular and uncool
Made fun of, for being myself and not playing by their rules

I was just a regular kid who happened to be bipolar
Who had the whole world relaxing on my shoulders
Thinking about my parents who were nowhere to be seen
So tortured and damaged, my nightmares were in my dreams 

Called names so much that I would barely speak in class
Fighting depression, but it managed to keep its grasp
Writing rhymes over my school book 
I didn't try to be like the popular kids and ripped their rules up 

Long sleeved jumpers, even on sunny days to hide my self-harm scars
Blaming myself for everything, even though I never dealt the cards
Hid my self-harm secret for over a year
The world was far too heavy for my shoulders to bare

Friends were rare, I didn't like going out
Every second of every day, I was writing a poem down
Hid from the world, because of how I was made to feel
Writing all of my worst experiences on a page to heal 

Sister and brother injecting heroin, put me off drugs
15 year old me, crushing on Britney Spears, thinking I'd heal with a touch of her love
Foster families and children's homes, I was never stable
Every day at school I sat by myself at my own table 

Never made to feel welcome, always left out
Bullied and made to feel worthless, I was always kept down
Laughed at for being swaggerless, Unpopular and uncool
Made fun of, for being myself and not playing by their rules
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

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Pigeon Tart Avatar
September 13, 2017 at 7:44 AM
Something tells me you have grown into your swagger and cool Alex. Hugs from across the pond xomo!
Duffy Avatar
September 19, 2017 at 6:20 PM
I believe I have, thank you so much, hugs back to you :)
Leong Avatar
September 13, 2017 at 4:52 AM
wow...Alex, that was very heartening to read, i feel sorry for you, but never give up! the Lord is there to Heal; i hope all will be better as the days go by. till then, stay afloat and accept God's "boat" when He sends you help, no matter who it may be. God bless!
Duffy Avatar
September 19, 2017 at 6:20 PM
I won't give up, I'll always keep going, thank you so much, your comment means a lot to me :)
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