Survival Tips for Recovering Cynics

One: Wake up slowly. Admit it was never that deep. Let your first word be hmmm. Let your second be whatever. Two: Stretch, but not like you mean it. Pop one joint, then stop. You are not an overachiever. You’re alive. That’s enough. Three: Brew something hot and unnecessarily complicated. Call it process. Sip. Sigh. Spill a little on purpose. Four: Reintroduce yourself to color. Start with gray. Work up to a muted mustard. No pressure. Five: Trust nothing that smiles too easily. Except maybe dogs. And one cashier who says you’re all set like she means it. Six: Throw out the list you made of everyone who owes you. Keep the one you made of whom you survived— remember who survived you. Seven: Don’t look for closure. Just check your teeth for spinach when you think you ate, and get on with it.