surrender
life taught me that I am powerless over so many things
most obviously alcohol which had been my downfall
but rock bottom brought me to a place of the solution
today I have recovered from booze and amended my ways
at least I try my best because honey sweet milk and roses
have changed into new challenges and acceptance of what is
thrown into a tempest the raging storms are tormenting
but winds do not ask where they are going to end
the waves on the beach do not ask for anything in return
and the sand as I walk has not swallowed me up in one big gulp
the sun is shining brightly and it is for me to see the rainbows
which may not have a pot of gold at its destination
but hold serenity peace courage as long as I am open honest and willing
when I initially surrendered things seemed to be going all well
and I was pleased with the outcome cherished the miracle and rejoiced
I handed over my being actions thoughts and life over to a God
of my understanding and thought that I had arrived
I was told that if you go to the ocean with a thimble you may scoop water
but if you took a bucket the rewards would be so much more plentiful
when I surrendered again and more thoroughly God must have thought
he is ready now and bestowed upon me a most crushing defeat
that seemed to rip all the essence out of me in a devastating blow
here was a junction and turning point as this is what crises are
I could abandon faith because I was given life on life’s terms
or realise that once more I was powerless could not manage on my own
and had wrongly thought that I knew what was best for my good
I opted for the latter or more likely it decided to choose me
a friend told me that the world does not owe me happiness
but that I owed the world and myself to be conscious
and as I write these cathartic words I hope and believe
that my emotions will follow my rational approach
there is a light and the window of opportunity is wide open
as long as I do not allow darkness to shadow my journey
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