Surfacing

it is not easy to wake up happy
the young do
maybe 

eyes have to adjust
focus inward
bring what is in there to the outside
so you can take a look at it

then there’s always yesterday to deal with
memory decodes
decides what lingers to hurt
or what can be forgiven
like as if it happened

now the body has its say

it pulls you in all directions
demands attention
then repays you with pain

you come to yourself 
filtering through your own dawning
to where one moment can be held 
steadily enough
for you to be this person

then
there it is

happiness


just like that

no reason
no cause

you grin behind hazy eyes
even though you still ache with this life

yet still want more of it 
anyway

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