Supernatural

Ghouls and vampires
angels and demons.
The Winchesters retire
satans archaic legion.

Sam, the younger 
of the hunters,
gains strength from demon blood,
his crack, this cures his hunger.

Dean, the older of the two
his heavy fists make him a brute.
Once died, became satans dude,
revived, the brothers feud.


Name withheld until contest is over
5/10/2010
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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That Archaic Poet Avatar
February 18, 2014 at 11:46 AM
Love the content of this piece, but your rhyme is a little jagged. In the first stanza, what about changing "archaic" to "relic"? They are close in meaning and there is one less syllable (beat) that throws off the rhyme. The second stanza I think you should play around with; in my head, I was think "Sam the younger of the hunters gains his strength from demon blood. (just as an example) Weapons crack, a lethal attack- killing foes cures his hunger". Do you see how it smooths out the rhythm? brb
That Archaic Poet Avatar
February 18, 2014 at 11:53 AM
CRAP! "Killing foes cures his hunger as they drop with sudden thus" (or something along those lines; just trying to give you ideas to even it out)
That Archaic Poet Avatar
February 18, 2014 at 11:53 AM
ARGH! *sudden THUD, not "thus". I can't type today!!!!!
That Archaic Poet Avatar
February 18, 2014 at 11:49 AM
lol should say *in my head I was thinking
That Archaic Poet Avatar
February 18, 2014 at 11:48 AM
You should really rework the third line in the last stanza; "dude" is extremely weak. Try and think of something along the lines of a minion that comes close to rhyming with "two" (I know you can do it!). Hope this has been helpful, bud :)
Brown Avatar
June 6, 2012 at 6:52 AM
When I click on one of your poems I know it will be exceptional Jared. Thank you for sharing your words with us. I hope all is well with you and yours. I will stop back again soon. Love, Carol
Sweetheart Avatar
March 26, 2011 at 5:53 AM
Whoa.. luv don't leave me hanging like that .. what constitutes crazy? pray tell more please.. u can use my yahoo mail: [email protected] soukp mail though I tend not to lately... so are u 'hooked up in luv"? .. such a long time since I saw your name on my work and was thinking of u always luv.. appreciate your compliments on my poetry.. since u departed from P.S. Ron bought me a Lifetime Membership ... he appreciates ALL my talents..haha.. ya know? let me hear from u luv.OK?
Anderson Avatar
May 27, 2010 at 6:24 PM
Congrats on your win, Bro...and thnx for reading and leaving comments on my pieces...later, my friend, Jimmy
Guzzi Avatar
May 19, 2010 at 2:54 PM
favorite show. Soup mail Light & love
 Avatar
May 16, 2010 at 7:38 PM
Mr. JP, I use to watch this program and it was very good. I love your poem. It describes it perfectly. Congratulations on winning. You deserve it. Scarlett
Johnson Avatar
May 15, 2010 at 10:31 PM
This is a new one to me. Never heard of it and I don't think I want to, But to each his own and you described it well. Congratualtions. Joyce
Devonshire Avatar
May 15, 2010 at 7:55 PM
Great poem, Jared. I'm wondering which network carries this show -- never saw it, but it sounds very intriguing. Congratulations on your success in the contest! Love, Carolyn
Sweetheart Avatar
May 15, 2010 at 7:49 PM
Congrats Jared on your success in my TV contest with this wonderful write .. luv this show myself.. its a fav.. thankxxx for your constant support..luv.. Linda-Marie..
Anderson Avatar
May 13, 2010 at 9:02 AM
Hey Jared, good lck in the contest, Bro....and thnx for leaving comments on my write...still waiting to hear from you re: collab..."The Duel"??? Know your kinda busy! Later, Jimmy
Kendrick Avatar
May 12, 2010 at 5:07 AM
Interesting I guess that I have not looked at this contest....Good luck..Thanks for stopping by and commenting,..Sara
A   Avatar
May 12, 2010 at 3:11 AM
well done, Jarred, nice on the contest, wishing you the best on luck, always,..p.d.
Culverhouse Avatar
May 11, 2010 at 7:34 PM
That sestina poem was from the frustration of trying to write a sestina. LOL I did finally get one wrote but I am not happy with it. good to hear form you.
Pickett Avatar
May 11, 2010 at 7:51 AM
Well written Son, I enjoyed this good versus evil write...Love Dad
Mehta Avatar
May 10, 2010 at 6:21 PM
I enjoyed the last quatrain and humor in it
Falotico Avatar
May 10, 2010 at 3:23 PM
LOVED IT!!!
Chircop Avatar
May 10, 2010 at 10:16 AM
Great work,glad to see you posting. .Charma
A  Avatar
May 10, 2010 at 9:09 AM
JOB WELL DONE JARRED, ITS BEEN A LONG TIME, I READ A POEM OF YOURS, THE BEST WISHES IN THE CONTEST,,Irma
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