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Sun Deity

Paul Callus Avatar Paul Callus - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Sun Deity which was written by poet Paul Callus. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The poem is below.


Sun Deity

She looks at me with blushing face
At break of day she shyly peeps.
I watch her move with utmost grace
She looks at me with blushing face.
Her lovely smile a warm embrace,
My heart runs fast; it beats and leaps
She looks at me with blushing face
At break of day she shyly peeps.

--------------------------------------------
For Andrea's contest: "Short Form Pt 3"

* In several countries and in Teutonic 
languages the sun is considered female.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

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12
Date: 5/30/2016 2:05:00 AM
Congratulations on your placing, Paul! I like your original haiku as well. Greetings, David
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Paul Callus
Date: 5/30/2016 8:15:00 AM
Thank you David. I appreciate your encouragement. Regards // paul
Date: 5/28/2016 4:21:00 PM
nice to see a triolet in this contest, great personification - congrats on your win!
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Paul Callus
Date: 5/28/2016 6:07:00 PM
Thank you Charlotte; I enjoyed your winning entry, too:) Regards // paul
Date: 5/28/2016 10:02:00 AM
So lovely to read this again and this time you got the win you deserved:-) hugs Jan xx
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Paul Callus
Date: 5/28/2016 10:22:00 AM
Thank you Jan:) I opted for this triolet when I saw that Andrea was also looking out for this form, so decided to give it a chance. hugs // paul
Date: 5/27/2016 9:32:00 PM
Congratulations Paul. In Japan the sun is known to be female too. At first glance I thought you were speaking about a bird, but then it became clear. Lovely Paul! ; )
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Paul Callus
Date: 5/28/2016 9:00:00 AM
Thank you Connie; you are so very supportive:) Glad that you enjoyed. May you too enjoy a lovely weekend. Regards // paul
Date: 5/27/2016 9:13:00 PM
A very sweet Triolet, Paul. Congratulations on your placement in the contest. Sandra
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Paul Callus
Date: 5/28/2016 8:57:00 AM
Thank you Sandra; pleased that you found it to your liking. Have a nice weekend. // paul
Date: 5/27/2016 9:11:00 PM
a cute little rhyming one, Paul. One of my few triolets I got!! Congrats.
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Paul Callus
Date: 5/28/2016 8:55:00 AM
Thank you Andrea. Originally I had a haiku ready for your contest, but then I opted for this triolet, even though I had more hope for the haiku! [did not want to be greedy:)] // paul
Date: 5/27/2016 4:32:00 PM
Congratulations on your win with this well-written triolet, Paul. Especially good job on the repeating lines. Janice
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Paul Callus
Date: 5/27/2016 4:40:00 PM
Thank you Janice:) Have a nice weekend. Regards // paul
Date: 5/27/2016 12:29:00 PM
This is my favorite I think...kind of a tricky form for me ...congrats...Barbara
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Paul Callus
Date: 5/27/2016 3:06:00 PM
Many thanks, Barbara. I'm going through the winners, and I have come upon several beautiful entries! Regards // paul
Date: 5/27/2016 9:53:00 AM
Beautiful work of the flow, Paul. Congrats on your win.
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Paul Callus
Date: 5/27/2016 2:30:00 PM
Thank you Lukas. I truly enjoyed your winning entry. Regards // paul
Date: 5/27/2016 9:52:00 AM
Congratulations, Paul on your fantastic placing by a real strict taskmaster. I was wondering about the gender till I saw the note below. I think I like the feminine aspect better. ~karam~
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Paul Callus
Date: 5/27/2016 3:07:00 PM
Thank you for the lovely feedback, Karam. Always a pleasure to have you visiting. Regards // paul
Date: 3/14/2016 3:09:00 AM
How interesting, Paul! From almost every culture I can think of the sun is considered male, and the moon is female (as I'm writing this I realized Kayods is saying the same thing below me!) What a playful triolet you got going on here. The blushing I can take more literally, because the sun does appear red, depending on the angle and time of day. Cool perceptions (or maybe warm would be more appropriate).
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Paul Callus
Date: 3/14/2016 10:14:00 AM
That is the beauty of different cultures, Timothy! Maltese hold the sun to be female, the moon male. I think even Celtic culture is similar. In this case she is shy and blushes...I prefer her like that...better than being loud and brazen:) Thanks for another pleasant visit. ~ paul
Date: 11/23/2015 4:06:00 AM
This is automatically a fave,the message and the rhyme stand this out,in Nigeria sun is considered a male and moon the famale.Well done for this perfect work...hugs
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Paul Callus
Date: 11/24/2015 10:59:00 AM
You are too kind, Kayode:) I do love your feedback! Your sincere support is always appreciated, my friend. All the best. // paul
Date: 8/21/2015 9:09:00 PM
Wonderful poem my friend. A true pleasure to read--I read it three times, each time finding more good stuff! For me this is definitely top stuff my friend!A7
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/22/2015 7:34:00 AM
Thank you my friend Robert! Your complimentary comments and rating are truly appreciated! have a lovely day. // paul
Date: 8/18/2015 5:22:00 AM
Paul, lovely scene.. love the blushing face... =") I have lots of blushes during these days.. =")hugs Paul.. Hope you are doing okei.. =") ~Olive Eloisa... =")
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/18/2015 6:10:00 AM
Thank you for reading and enjoying, Olive_eloi! Hope that like the sun yours have been romantic blushes:)) Keep well and smile:) Hugs ~ paul
Date: 8/13/2015 9:05:00 PM
I love the structure, which is probably a form I don't know about, lol. Great job of avoiding cliches too. That's not easy!
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/14/2015 11:43:00 AM
Thank you for reading and commenting, Mary. The Triolet form has a charm to it, and I like using it, though not to the extreme of abusing it:) ~ All the best. // paul
Date: 8/13/2015 3:22:00 PM
So I have read it , and as triolets go, it has a wonderful rhythm, rhyme and imagery. Good one!
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/13/2015 4:40:00 PM
Thank you, Andrea...my favourite type of feedback:) ~ paul
Date: 8/13/2015 3:21:00 PM
oh, Paul, I will tell you first before I even read this. you made it too long. She said below 7 lines!! Now let me read what you wrote (maybe you have time to redo it and be able to place in her contest unless she is not being strict on her rules).
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/13/2015 4:38:00 PM
Yes, Andrea....in haste I messed up on the rules...but I also missed out on a slot:(
Date: 8/13/2015 4:43:00 AM
Another great poem Paul! Warm Rgds, Laura
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Laura Hay
Date: 8/24/2015 10:38:00 AM
Visiting again Paul, yip i really like the simplicity of this, yet it has such impact visually in my mind, thanks again for your direction :)
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/13/2015 4:43:00 PM
So pleased that you clicked on the 'like' button, Laura:) Thank you!! All the best. // paul
Date: 8/10/2015 6:02:00 PM
Love this romantic twist on the sun.. I find her very sexy and live to feel her on my body!
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/11/2015 2:20:00 AM
Thank you Dave. At times like this the sun is alluring, but I know from experience that she is not to be trusted when she takes over completely! ~ All the best. // paul
Date: 8/10/2015 3:21:00 PM
Paul - I am absolutely CLUELESS when it comes to composing repeating line poems... I don't know how you or anyone else manage it and you have done a MARVELOUS job here. LOVE the first line especially...I think you've got a winner here - Tim
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/10/2015 4:18:00 PM
I'm pleased that you enjoyed this triolet, Tim. Thank you for reading and posting encouraging remarks:) All the best. // paul
Date: 8/10/2015 10:31:00 AM
this has an uplifting, lucent effect on me, paul.. your words flow effortlessly!.. huggs
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/10/2015 4:14:00 PM
Thank you Nette; love your comments! Hugs // paul
Date: 8/10/2015 8:46:00 AM
Seeing the sun as a shy but blushing flirt is a different way of looking at the morning sun, Paul. I will carry that image with me forever. I'd like to see you write one abut the man in the moon. What's he up to? So sorry you missed the deadline. And thanks for visiting my poem "Only A Poet" ~~~Darlene
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/10/2015 10:19:00 AM
Hi Darlene! Thank you for reading and giving your feedback. I cannot help falling for the sun at break or end of day; however she is too overpowering for me at mid-day! ~ All the best. // paul
Date: 8/9/2015 2:31:00 PM
- A really beautiful poem, Paul - Of course the sun is female :) - I wish you good luck in the contest - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/9/2015 3:29:00 PM
Thank you Anne Lise! I like to think of the sun as a she, but in some countries it's considered to be male (eg. Italy). ~ Hugs // paul
Date: 8/9/2015 9:54:00 AM
This is lovely!! I love your Triolets!! (And all your other poems, too, of course!!) :D :D
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/9/2015 3:25:00 PM
That's very nice of you, Sneha:) Thank you:) ~ paul
Date: 8/9/2015 12:09:00 AM
Beautiful words and the form fits perfectly for what you wanted to do.. A fabulous work, Paul!
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Paul Callus
Date: 8/9/2015 7:32:00 AM
Triolets can turn an ordinary work into something beautiful! I'm pleased that you found this to your liking, Dave! I enjoy sitting quietly on the back seat of a bus with my muse! ~ Thank you for stopping by with lovely comments! // paul
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