Summer Grind Senryu

summer cruise
we park in the side road
and backseat grind
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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Smith-Johnsen Avatar
March 17, 2010 at 5:21 AM
Effective imagery in this senryu, Hai Au. What about the zoo or a museum...I know, the library! Lovingly, Dane Ann
Guzzi Avatar
February 13, 2010 at 1:55 PM
Ouuuuulaalalaaaa... Perhaps you'd like my Up Periscope? I love all thats' not said!
Richards Avatar
July 5, 2009 at 9:56 AM
You put the fire under the soup, and warmed it up!! Congratulations on being among the Hot Poems this week!! Great job!! :)
Yates Avatar
July 5, 2009 at 8:03 AM
Straight and to the point, I can imagine that very well very passionate.... Great write! Thanks for the comment!
Brown Avatar
July 3, 2009 at 2:42 PM
Love it, great write !
Mason Avatar
July 2, 2009 at 7:52 PM
Well welcome to PoetrySoup Hai !! As you probably already know (but may have forgot ... smile) this is really a Senryu form as the Haiku is left for thoughts of nature and the Senryu is used for human behavior. And who hasn't participated in this ... LOL ... anyway, sorry if my school teacher is coming out and thanks so much for your comment on my writing! It was much appreciated.
Kendrick Avatar
July 2, 2009 at 5:09 PM
Interesting Haiku. Sara
Carty Avatar
July 2, 2009 at 2:10 PM
cheeky! good write.
Tanaskow Avatar
July 1, 2009 at 3:42 AM
seems like she's already touched you. just her dancing is inconsistent. and she doesn't much listen to me.
Fraser Avatar
June 30, 2009 at 2:38 PM
Excellent write Hai>>James
Anish Avatar
June 30, 2009 at 9:13 AM
Pretty poem - but I think ist is a senryu because it is not about nature. Sounds like agreat experience. Yours Matthew Anish
Hudson Avatar
June 29, 2009 at 7:51 PM
Hello Hai, I liked your answer or comment to Kareena. About hearing in black and white. That was very clever as well! Check your syllable count in line two, I believe it has eight. Just take out I and it's perfect! Is that what they mean when they say moons over Miami?:))-AA
Poe Avatar
June 29, 2009 at 7:15 PM
What a beautiful feeling you have shown in this lovely haiku. Congrats! -Alley
Bird Avatar
June 29, 2009 at 6:55 PM
Loving in the back seat down a country road, Oh! how this piece just takes me home! Loved it!
Nguyen Avatar
June 29, 2009 at 4:20 PM
haha turning the lights off the shower makes it all lok more romantic. cuz u use the moonlight in the window. gotta try it to see what im talking about. thanks for the comments.
Goff Avatar
June 29, 2009 at 4:00 PM
sounds like fun! Hai! nice write! and thanks for comments!!! and WELCOME to the 'sizzlin' soup~
Nguyen Avatar
June 29, 2009 at 3:53 PM
i never really understand what haiku's is about. but it seems as though this one is good, because everybody else likes it. so i like it too. (:
Brown Avatar
June 29, 2009 at 11:41 AM
Welcome to PoetrySoup Hai Au Chu. I am hoping to read many more poems written by you. Love, Carol
Shango Avatar
June 29, 2009 at 11:11 AM
Courageous write, my friend, I applaud for you to do it again. One love
Moreno Avatar
June 26, 2009 at 12:55 AM
Nice work using my favorite form. Love to ridge on side roads...Raul
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