Suicide Poem 2nd Attempt

Well, I tried the paper cut Like Dr. Kevorkian said But the band-aid stopped the bleeding It didn't work, I'm still not dead I just couldn't do it The paper didn't cause my death So now I've resorted to other measures I'm typing this, while holding my breath Well, I held my breath Until my whole head turned blue I woke up on the floor Now, what do I do? There is one more thing But I'd hate to die like this For I know it would kill me To give my mother-in-law a kiss My wife just told me That it's time to eat some beans So I'll eat me some and light a match For it will blow me to smithereens