Subject of Negative Thinking

I'm a continuous subject of negative thinking. Death became my best friend and in his presence is where I longed to be. Self mutilation became my better half. Every night the blade to my skin as I reached satisfaction once I saw red. The subject of negative thinking. No type of encouragement mattered. The negativity becoming my everything. My fuel. Suicide being my plan B. The subject of negativity constantly searching for positivity.