Strange Things Found In the Lost Tomb of Zarathustra

It was never exactly pinpointed for only the African Crowned Eagles knew of the twisting paths to its misplaced place. In that crystalline chamber, upon that gold dusted floor were found much thumbed volumes of all Nietzsche’s works, a penguin in a glass bell, a twig cut from the tree of Life one million years from now' A windblown leaf but only the wind that blew it. a silver cuspidor, a ancient helmet made of Pittsburgh steel, a Neolithic moonshine still, a copy of the illustrated Karma Sutra, several debunked words of wisdom from Aristotle, an Olmec Letter Opener. and a stuffed tufted rat. The find has been carefully transported to the Smithsonian where neuroscientists are trying to solder together all these missing links. The NYT has declared these odd finds to be ‘Russian disinformation,’ but ‘Bokonon’ the mythical poet-sage of the Republic of Never-Never Land has blessed each artifact and declared them to be far too strange not to be absolutely true.