Strain
I wake up. I get dressed. I step out into the world even though my heart demands I stay in bed.
I ignore the fastened heart beats. I try to smile. Look confident. My footsteps are shaking. My
pulse is continually racing. Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I inflicting myself with such a
neausating pain. EDUCATION. That's what I tell my brain. I force myself to interract socially. To
be in envirements where I am unhappy just so I can eventually be free. I used to stuff my face in
books, Hide behind baggy jeans. I thought not showing off my figure and keeping my face
unseen would be enough to distract the mean. But they come anyway. Ten folds stronger.
Cause they wanna know why your so quiet. Why your trying to be different than them. So here I
go under going another change. Physically and mentally. I thought if I changed they would stop
being mean. But I guess not. Nothing ever changes. I still am inflicted with the same kind of pain.
Just different forms. Yet I wake up. I put on my clothes and get on the train. Despite the
emotional strain. Cause I want to make it in this world, So I wipe away every tear. Push away
ever whisper. Just close my eyes and take a deep breath. Life gets better I tell myself.
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