Stimulation: Paradise of Passion

Paradise of passion has dawned upon my mind of my once dusked mindset (desired future of peace that has transformed my mind that was of darkness for the better) I'm envious of others' ecstasy for some reason still unknown to me and it gets me awfully upset, which leads to ridiculous regret Sensitive by the spooky darkness you mused about - you've spoke with me about them many times A thousand times, I've listened to your nonsense babbling...the clock of wisdom and a logical understanding behind it chimes (understanding wise sayings when someone speaks foolishly) Don't think ill of me because I am attempting to do what's best Rumors of me have spread like a cancer in my skin, making me feel afraid beyond control Don't fail me with an F, professor of pleasure - I just detest your test (not accepting authority as of education-wise) I keep on assuming that I know the solutions to some of their problems, but I can't cheat them into the snare of I'll-always-be-there - I'm overwhelmed somewhat as a whole more or less...my skull is banging with irritably that catches on fire like crow-black coal I gotta tell you that anger-inspired disheartenment has taken its toll in my life Dreams that I've dreamt flood into my mind at last and I can explain it with my unspeakable speech I never understood the meaning of life until God has set me free from fear and anxiety Gleaming glory was hard to reach until my hopes were ascended like the sunset at the beach Funny that you never knew exactly where I stood until I spoke to you in private, drawing you away from the commotion crowd that is of glee obscurity (happiness that's full of uncertainty and of unknown reasons) Know that I'm genuine in what I say... What I do has made me look rebellious in every single way I apologize for being a foolish boy that tried to fulfill my temporary lusts that turn to dust in the long run (worthless as a whole) Don't seek me in times of trouble...you told me I was untrustworthy in your speech that I don't beseech at all I'm not wise...and you're not the fool, so don't just make assumptions that I'm drunk off of the wine of I'm-fine-and-you're-not-fine (I don't judge irreverently, so don't think that I do) Predicting the future in a negative way did me no good obviously... You're so oblivious of my insane pain in my heart...I can now see to a somewhat high degree You don't know my mind and I don't know yours You sit around at home and I do endless chores I'm trying to get your attention I longed to get But, all this tension we have in our relationship, frankly, is building up like unpaid debt I'm scared for your well-being... Ignorance doesn't necessarily belong to a narcissistic being (meaning being unaware doesn't mean you're self-seeking) Just know that I've saved you from future heartache and what I did was a mistake... It wasn't for the sake of misleading you into being with me...these leaves just need a rake (my mess just needs a cleaning) Don't keep your distance from me... I want you back in my life I'll say what I need to say and take action... Jealousy will not wear me down as it did lately I'm jealous because I want, but I can't give...I need doubts to die, but I need to let live (in other words, I need to move on with no worry in mind) I lie awake for your acceptance time and time again I cheated death many times in my life Suicidal thoughts have only led to strife Deep inside, I want to cry because the positivity that I try to think up on gets drowned by poorly-built guilt Things are getting outta hand all the time I say the wrong words that I don't mean to say...all I say is not always heartfelt - my flowers of flourishing hopes and joyous mopes wilt (positivity turns into negativity) Complicated dilemmas I watch on television It was never my intention to gaze away at my procrastinated decision (meaning I didn't mean to distract myself from doing something important) Dyslexia put me in fear Writing this has made me shed a tear Because all that I hold dear Is pretty much gone from my grasp God is near to repair me until I'm faithfully functional again...so, here I am...I am waiting for your awed gasp (meaning waiting for someone's approval) Genius pervertedness floods society's system...switched into the mindset of keep calm and go with the program I am used as a gem, then abused by the signs of their corruption, taking advantage of me - I am still God's wandering lamb