Stepping Out

I made a decision tonight 
- to step out 
and quit my job
A job that I have for 20 years
A job that I love
I don't know what I am going to do
But I know whatever it is
He has me there
I don't know whether it is a step of faith
But I am scared sless
I don't know how I am going to make my mortgage payments
I don't know where the money is going to come from
I don't know how I am going to live
But I know He has me there
A friend was telling me a story about her stepping out
She said "if you don't do what He wants
when He wants you to step out
You are going to lose everything"
Yeah that does make sense
Because He rules
So I am scared
Yet I want to obey
Yet I don't want to lose everything
So yeah a rock and a hard place
So yeah God hear me
This thing is on You
If I suffer, if I am less that I was
If anything
I am going to get You
So hear me God?
I am gonna do this just for You
Where?
I don't know where
What?
I don't know what
With whom?
Ahh never mind
I just do whatever it comes to my mind
So if it's yours, great
If it's not, too bad
'cause I know not
You know this thing is coming, don't you?
You've been leading me through it
I have some inklings
That I am going to walk by faith 
- one of these days
Well, that day is here
Hope You are happy
'cause I am not!
Am I?
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

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Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace