Stay the Trigger

I have heard that loving is like having a gun, Pointing it at your heart, and choosing to give it to someone. And while feeling the steel against your chest, You take deep breaths and hope for the best. Far too many times I have played the fool And too many times I have been stung by such a tool. "Once bitten, twice shy" as we all know. So the end of a barrel is a place I'd rather not go. This fear has pushed me to actions of which I am ashamed. Laying with faces that even to me are unnamed. I was content, I thought, free from love's reign, Jumping from fix to fix for my hollow pain. Then you crept in, slow and sure, I denied my attraction to your allure. But we shared words and I looked into your eyes. I saw the depths of seas and the expanse of skies. In the moment you spoke my heart stilled, But by the melody of your voice my soul was thrilled. Paralyzed was my tongue and I could not speak, For a breadth of time all within me became weak. An argument ensued, inside my mind, Between fear and excitement at what we might find. Having to trust again is indeed a great fear, But not greater than the desire to hold someone dear. And though I am terrified, I'll give it my all. I won't let fear stop me; I shan't tarry nor stall. I am ready to gamble this tattered heart once more And not just go through the motions. Only if the hand staying the trigger is yours, That I may gaze into depths of dazzling oceans.