Stay Or Go

Went shopping for new underpants In the hope I might find some romance Half way to the shop, bumped into a cop Who held up his hand and said, “Stop.” He told me, “The road ahead’s blocked, turn back or you’re gonna be shocked.” Then there was a teeth jarring yell And he ran like a ferret from hell I stared at the road up ahead And the thing I saw filled me with dread A spider the size of a horse Ate a puppy with little remorse It chewed it and spat out its bones Ate the owner to silence his groans Did I believe what I could see? I did when it moved towards me Well I’m not gonna kid you, I fled Which made perfect sense in my head Had I stayed, there would be no romance But I’d sure need those new underpants