Starving for Beauty

I am starving For a dream For a fantasy That has escaped me I wish I was never born Because I cannot be perfect Because I cannot be beautiful When I starve I feel powerful I feel in control Every compliment I get Makes me feel like a fraud I can hide my disfigurement From the world But when I am alone and bare I cannot hide from myself When I was a big beautiful woman I felt confident, beautiful and desired But, now if anyone knew the real me No one would accept me Because I am a freak I just want to be normal again I just want to love myself