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Stand Down, Shakespeare

I just tried out Soup’s grammar checker
It graded my work at just three
I smashed my IPad into pieces
You might say it kind of irked me

So I loaded up sonnet eighteen
(Compare thee to a summer’s day)
I copied and pasted that poem 
Precisely as Shakespeare did say

Seems it’s a long way from perfect
For ‘owest’ he shouldn’t have said
And he’s gonna need to change ‘growest’ 
Alas, I believe Shakespeare’s dead

And then checker graded his writing
And set it at one point nine three 
So what’s the big deal with this Shakespeare?
It seems he writes worser than me!


[Postscript: This epic ode achieved a 1.93: Cest la vie.]

Copyright © Terry Flood | Year Posted 2021

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Mystic Rose Rose Date: 1/16/2021 6:15:00 AM lol, I think by now you know that when it comes to writing anything goes dear poet. I haven't followed rules since I was twelve years old, your poetry is refreshing. Glad you smashed the tablet, who needs it, go back to the pen and paper and enjoy the journey Terry. Login to Reply Terry Flood Date: 1/16/2021 11:16:00 AM Hey... you haven’t seen my handwriting. Really wouldn’t be a good idea, but thanks for the suggestion, and the compliment. Terry

Jan Allison Date: 1/16/2021 12:50:00 AM absolutely hilarious and I've got to say I am not a fan of the bard I find his work archaic and boring . the kids still study him at school - bring some fresh blood to them how about some wit from us lol:-) Actually I did have a poem 'owl see you' published in a book in Dubai for kids with English as a second language to be approached by Cambridge university press was a real honour:-) hugs jan xx Login to Reply Terry Flood Date: 1/16/2021 4:25:00 AM Humbled... I’m in the presence of a published poet! I occasionally consider publishing a collection of my Santa poems and limericks:Alas my illustrating skills are lacking. Thanks for the ‘hilarious’, Jan. Terry.

Krish Radhakrishna Date: 1/15/2021 2:09:00 PM Brilliant write! thou are bravest, to mock the bard! me thinks that checker is a fraud! what a poet says is always true If that is the poet’s point of view! Poetic licence is a wonderful thing! I enjoyed your write! Login to Reply Terry Flood Date: 1/15/2021 3:53:00 PM Thank you Krish, all tongue in cheek of course. I reckon this Shakespeare bloke is gonna make a bit of a name for himself one of these days. Terry.

Rico Leffanta Date: 1/15/2021 11:05:00 AM First laugh this morning! Thank you! Aloha! Rico Login to Reply Terry Flood Date: 1/15/2021 11:54:00 AM I also typed into grammar checker, ‘I can’t get no satisfaction’... it told me the grammar was good, but then suggested words to replace ‘get’ with. One of these words was ‘annoy’. So I typed in ‘I can’t annoy no satisfaction’... it graded that higher. Thanks for your comment, Rico. Terry

Tom Cunningham Date: 1/15/2021 7:31:00 AM Like those programs they used to check kids predicted school work last year. Never bother with all that baloney, use my fingers and two thumbs to do a syllable check, be screwed if I lost one lol. Have a great weekend Terry Tom Login to Reply Terry Flood Date: 1/15/2021 12:01:00 PM Yee haa! I knew I wasn’t the only fingers and thumbs syllable counter around here. Thanks Tom. Terry

Kim Rodrigues Date: 1/15/2021 4:11:00 AM LOL! Right?! Login to Reply Terry Flood Date: 1/15/2021 4:22:00 AM Every word is true... honest. Try it and see. Well... maybe I hyped myself up just a little bit in the final line. ;.) Oh, I didn’t smash my IPad up either Terry.