Speak

A week ago I wrote a list of reasons on why I should take my life Two days ago I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Today I had major suicidal thoughts and cried for three hours All of this happened in a span of time Today is where I realized that I have bipolar but bipolar does not own me I got out of bed I made breakfast I took a shower I tidied my room I drank tea and focused on my studies I did some notes I read my current book But most importantly I moved I did not stay in one place and let my thoughts take over my state of mind My illness does not define who I am or who I will be Anxiety, OCD, Bipolar are just a fraction of me They are characteristics of mine that can be treated and tamed Mental health is always so quietly put under the rug Like clothes thrown on that chair in our rooms If we have a cold we stay home until we get better However, when we feel the slightest despair Get over it Is all we hear When all we should hear Is It’s okay Work on yourself Get to know yourself Learn how to communicate with yourself Find help Talk to someone you trust Because getting over something Is easier said than done Until that exact person is in your shoes Then there is no getting over anything There is only denial, suffering, and finally acceptance I will never let my illness get the best of me Correction: I will try my best to not let my illness get the best of me The darkest clouds will always rain But we have the choice to whether use our umbrellas or not Take your medications Don’t keep thoughts inside How devastating it is that we keep smiling our suffering When all we want to do is scream Scream Scream loud and clear Speak Please Speak