Speak
A week ago I wrote a list of reasons on why I should take my life
Two days ago I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder
Today I had major suicidal thoughts and cried for three hours
All of this happened in a span of time
Today is where I realized that I have bipolar but bipolar does not own me
I got out of bed
I made breakfast
I took a shower
I tidied my room
I drank tea and focused on my studies
I did some notes
I read my current book
But most importantly I moved
I did not stay in one place and let my thoughts take over my state of mind
My illness does not define who I am or who I will be
Anxiety, OCD, Bipolar are just a fraction of me
They are characteristics of mine that can be treated and tamed
Mental health is always so quietly put under the rug
Like clothes thrown on that chair in our rooms
If we have a cold we stay home until we get better
However, when we feel the slightest despair
Get over it
Is all we hear
When all we should hear
Is
It’s okay
Work on yourself
Get to know yourself
Learn how to communicate with yourself
Find help
Talk to someone you trust
Because getting over something
Is easier said than done
Until that exact person is in your shoes
Then there is no getting over anything
There is only denial, suffering, and finally acceptance
I will never let my illness get the best of me
Correction: I will try my best to not let my illness get the best of me
The darkest clouds will always rain
But we have the choice to whether use our umbrellas or not
Take your medications
Don’t keep thoughts inside
How devastating it is that we keep smiling our suffering
When all we want to do is scream
Scream
Scream loud and clear
Speak
Please Speak
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