Speak

A week ago I wrote a list of reasons on why I should take my life 
Two days ago I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 
Today I had major suicidal thoughts and cried for three hours 
All of this happened in a span of time 
Today is where I realized that I have bipolar but bipolar does not own me
I got out of bed 
I made breakfast 
I took a shower 
I tidied my room 
I drank tea and focused on my studies 
I did some notes 
I read my current book
But most importantly I moved 
I did not stay in one place and let my thoughts take over my state of mind
My illness does not define who I am or who I will be 
Anxiety, OCD, Bipolar are just a fraction of me 
They are characteristics of mine that can be treated and tamed 
Mental health is always so quietly put under the rug
Like clothes thrown on that chair in our rooms
If we have a cold we stay home until we get better 
However, when we feel the slightest despair 
Get over it 
Is all we hear 
When all we should hear
Is 
It’s okay 
Work on yourself
Get to know yourself 
Learn how to communicate with yourself 
Find help 
Talk to someone you trust 
Because getting over something 
Is easier said than done
Until that exact person is in your shoes
Then there is no getting over anything 
There is only denial, suffering, and finally acceptance 
I will never let my illness get the best of me
Correction: I will try my best to not let my illness get the best of me 
The darkest clouds will always rain
But we have the choice to whether use our umbrellas or not 
Take your medications
Don’t keep thoughts inside 
How devastating it is that we keep smiling our suffering 
When all we want to do is scream
Scream 
Scream loud and clear
Speak 
Please Speak
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace