Elissa Quigley Poet Lyric

Sorry

Chest tight
no light
cant fight
a blight

Tears threten to spill
I promise not to kill
I beg for you to fill
just please wait untill

I crave the past,
tears under the mask.
warmpth of a hug,
the pull of a heart string does tug.

I yearn for the old joy of lunch time,
Now I sit alone and rhyme.
ghost of a smile on my face
now for the pain I brace

Wishing I could change it
I gave up and quit.
I lost hope 
I forgot to cope.

I looked to the easy path
I didnt do the math.
I was selfish
Hurting you wasn't my wish.

That is my accountability
my time to learn humility.
to learn from my choise
please hear my voice.

I love you all
my fear is my downfall.
I dont want you to hurt
so from my pain I divert

No longer will I hide,
my tears haven't dried
Im hurting
a lot
There
I said it
Im hurting really bad
I feel alone
I miss my friends
I miss my old school.
I miss not being able to stop smiling when walking into lunch with all of you.
I miss calling Josh, papa
I miss being (lovingly) teased about Langston.
I miss Savannah's smothering hugs,
I miss Sean's innocent litte jokes.
I miss Jose's silly faces (when no one is looking).
I miss the fact that "goodbye" ment see you tomarrow.
I miss Sean's hate for change.
I miss Savannah's helicopter parenting
I miss Joshe's memes
I miss Jose's stubborness.
I miss all parts of all of you.
G-d it kills me.
Every day I get up knowing I wont see you
I still reach for my school polos,
Still put my ID card in my back pocket,
then it hits me.
all at once I remeber avoiding homework
and the shame decends hand-in-hand with the emptyness.
I put the ID back and get dressed for the day,
with a heavy heart leading the way.
I paint on a happy smile,
over the sobbing lonley girl.
When my genetic authors over-exercise their vocal cords,
The smothering wieght returns.
I know.
I didnt forget
How could I?
I know that I messed up. 
But I cant change the past,
No matter how hard I try.
So let me say it,
let me attempt to sum all of this up in two words. 
condence my hurt into seven letters.
Express my thoughts in two syllables

I'm Sorry.

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