Sometimes, I Feel Confused In My Skin
The reason I’m writing this is because I’ve messed up greatly
There’s no way I can get out of this rut and I’m stuck in my misery
I felt like leaving the situation and I ended up feeling hopeless along the way
I fasten my seatbelt and wish the pain would drive away…drive away…
This is my poem to me…
I’m exiting into liberty
This is my poem to free…
The demons tonight full of envy
I love you, Lord…you’ve done me good
I need an award…for being misunderstood
Reward me by your happiness I can’t afford
I hoard happiness that is of Your Accord
I’m numb…I’m feeling dumb…
What have I become?
I feel incomplete and different
Is this a good feeling? Should I love or should I resent?
I’m feeling so stupid sometimes…
Heh, at times, I wish I was dead
I’m counting my days like dimes…
Instead, I just want to go to bed
I feel hopeless inside…
There’s no where I can hide
I cheated on my handsome joy
I’m sorry…that I am a naughty boy
Naughtily in love…with the devil…
I want to be a dove…like an angel…
I feel worthless as always…someday,
There will be days like this, some say
I’m sorry for lusting, oh God
I think I made a mistake here
Maybe, another day, I will please you
But tonight, I’m just confused…
Confused…yes, that’s what I feel
Confused…for real…like no big deal
It’s as if I did something wrong, yet I didn’t do anything wrong
Why is that? Why am I so consumed in confusion?
Am I not good enough?
Life is surely so rough…
I want to write an autobiography about how much I love writing…
I’m quitting this habit of procrastinating and I won’t be hiding…
Anymore…I’m looking ashore for something more in store
You’re the one that I adore…to the core…
I’ve beaten temptation — now what?
I’ve grown too soft to taste and feel
I’m allowing my eyes and everything to shut
To shut out the night of dismay…I just need a place for my head to heal…
I need an outlet and everything
Get a grip, delusional confusion
I need His lips to set me free from despondency
I need to get rid of toxic friendships…
God gave me an eclipse of the mind of various kinds
He equips me with an ellipse I couldn’t find beyond the blinds
An ellipse of airplanes that land in a land of understanding
An understanding beyond me…but I am still standing…
And I will not break through the sorrowful chambers of lies…
I won’t say my goodbyes and I will go through my highs…
I felt that I messed up greatly,
But I actually feel happy temptation didn’t get a hold of me…I’m stuck in the fields of the lonely…confused frankly
Drive away the misery of our lives
We will be like bees in our busy hives
Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2022
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