Sometimes, I Feel Confused In My Skin

The reason I’m writing this is because I’ve messed up greatly There’s no way I can get out of this rut and I’m stuck in my misery I felt like leaving the situation and I ended up feeling hopeless along the way I fasten my seatbelt and wish the pain would drive away…drive away… This is my poem to me… I’m exiting into liberty This is my poem to free… The demons tonight full of envy I love you, Lord…you’ve done me good I need an award…for being misunderstood Reward me by your happiness I can’t afford I hoard happiness that is of Your Accord I’m numb…I’m feeling dumb… What have I become? I feel incomplete and different Is this a good feeling? Should I love or should I resent? I’m feeling so stupid sometimes… Heh, at times, I wish I was dead I’m counting my days like dimes… Instead, I just want to go to bed I feel hopeless inside… There’s no where I can hide I cheated on my handsome joy I’m sorry…that I am a naughty boy Naughtily in love…with the devil… I want to be a dove…like an angel… I feel worthless as always…someday, There will be days like this, some say I’m sorry for lusting, oh God I think I made a mistake here Maybe, another day, I will please you But tonight, I’m just confused… Confused…yes, that’s what I feel Confused…for real…like no big deal It’s as if I did something wrong, yet I didn’t do anything wrong Why is that? Why am I so consumed in confusion? Am I not good enough? Life is surely so rough… I want to write an autobiography about how much I love writing… I’m quitting this habit of procrastinating and I won’t be hiding… Anymore…I’m looking ashore for something more in store You’re the one that I adore…to the core… I’ve beaten temptation — now what? I’ve grown too soft to taste and feel I’m allowing my eyes and everything to shut To shut out the night of dismay…I just need a place for my head to heal… I need an outlet and everything Get a grip, delusional confusion I need His lips to set me free from despondency I need to get rid of toxic friendships… God gave me an eclipse of the mind of various kinds He equips me with an ellipse I couldn’t find beyond the blinds An ellipse of airplanes that land in a land of understanding An understanding beyond me…but I am still standing… And I will not break through the sorrowful chambers of lies… I won’t say my goodbyes and I will go through my highs… I felt that I messed up greatly, But I actually feel happy temptation didn’t get a hold of me…I’m stuck in the fields of the lonely…confused frankly Drive away the misery of our lives We will be like bees in our busy hives