Soft Tissue Attached

After thousands of years due to global ice melt in the permafrost my carcass has been unearthed. Not surprisingly I was hairy and proto-Slavic. Some idiot named me ‘Derick Specimen 974.2’, My spirit watched as they soaked me in warm water then froze me up again. How many times must my remains be poked about like this? For centuries I have been interned, exhumed, washed away and bulldozed into dust, leaving my genetic footprints all over their dumb brains and now some fool looks upon my preserved remains and names me ‘Derick’!’ Just wait until I dig one of you up ten thousand years from now. I won’t care how bald and scrawny looking you are, I’ll name you: Aphrodite even through your flaccid popsicle of a scrotum is clear for all to see.