So Why?

So scared ive sat for hours each day of this week just thinking, maybe of the worst ive prayed that this day, today would never come Today is his last day the last day ill see him schools over he's leaving me behind he has no choice this time my hidden thoughts ramble in my brain they scramble all sense of clarity all i can think of is im loosing him i keep this behind frightened eyes i want to crawl into his arms and ask, maybe beg ..."when will i see you again?" but this, this is something i cant even speak on because we both dont know that answer but he'll tell me "don't worry Boo. Soon" or at least i think he will Im making myself parinoid wondering if he knows how i feel why wouldnt he though? ive never showed him otherwise even though, he isnt mine my girl chelsey even she understands that though he isnt mine he's still my man so she backs away though she's crushing hard because she knows that noel is my world forever it would take me to tell him how i feel a life time it would take me just to TELL him how i feel that these emotions arent just tricks in my mind that i will love him for the rest of time id die before i even got to explain before i got to show him unless he made me shut up by kissing me in the rain im scared so bad and im not so sure of what i feel like im loosing my Boo because we'll be out of touch he'll be with his girl and ill be in the next town half an hour from his place with no ride to go see him why am i scared? its not like hes mine why am i scared? its not like i wont see him another time why am i scared? because i want him so bad? why am i scared? and yet at his girlfriend im not mad why cant i explain to just walk up and tell him that i love this boy when to the world i want to yell it he is my life raft my life saver he is all i need and he's just the right flavor so why?