Smoking Gun

Everday I do it, then exhale its warm poison. It cools me , lets me think as if Ididnt have a brain of my own. In the mist of it all, the world puases for that moment life unhinges. As thoughts splash my mind like waves and paranioa brushed my goose bumps as i shiver in its influence and my sanity sips through the cracks. I had told myself ''its the last time'', a lie that to sooth me as this is the only validation i'l ever need