Sleep
How hard it is to smile and
pretend
everything is just right.
Do they see through me?
Do they know my secret?
Smile, laugh, act
accordingly.
Everyone knows what i am
they sneer behind my back
but smile to my face.
I can’t move in regret,
disgust, vulgarity.
Why do I have to be with
people?
to earn a living?
I don’t want live.
My mind races with bad
thoughts of myself,
repeating to me I am bad,
not right, sick.
I believe this and know it
to be true.
Why did God want us to be
subjected to all this cruelty
when heaven is just a
sleep away?
Is it all just a test to which
I am failing?
Back to smiling.
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