Elizabeth Nathaniel | + Follow Poet |
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Skin Deep

I stare blankly ahead of me;
stare into the cracked soul of the being who used to reflect a smile
- the girl I used to love unconditionally.
That love evades me now.

Where has it gone?

I search desperately, but I fear it is lost forever
- lost forever in the turbulent streams of my --self--consciousness;
lost in the dark recesses of my mind,
in the shrunken cockles of my heart.

I fear I may never find it.

But surely nothing is ever truly gone;
surely it is simply hiding from me
- playing a twisted game of hide and seek - 
or creeping in the shadows of my despair until it is needed again.

I need it now.

Words cannot express how deeply, how utterly, I want to love that person;
to see something of worth or merit in those dark eyes,
to smile back when those pale contours
find their pride again.

But somehow, I just can't see that face the same way.

All I see are lips chapped from saying "no"
- from constantly repenting sins they will soon commit again and again.
All I see are those blank, empty eyes staring back at me
- the cracked soul within beating herself bloody to be freed.

I wish  I could see it - I wish I could set that girl free - but somehow I can't find how.

I want to see it again:
the eyes so full of promise and hope that they blossom,
the smile of a girl who knows the world will keep spinning.
the face of a girl who may be chipping away piece by piece, but is still trying.

But you can't see what just isn't there.

I'd like to think that with enough wishing, that face will return;
that somehow the withering girl - bound by her own will - may find the sun again.
That against all odds, the cracks will begin to fade - the splintered child will heal -
and maybe, eventually, time will turn back and her smile will find its way through the pain.

I'd like to think that miracles are a stones-throw away -  that all you need is a little bit of pixie dust.
I'd like to believe that love does conquer all - much as the world would like to prove otherwise. 
I'd like to believe that, beneath the face of a girl with only bad days left, there hides another girl.

I'd like to believe that inside those soulless eyes,
buried deep within a chasm of depression,
hiding, timid, in the shadows,
there lies another face:

A face that, maybe,
I can love
- or at least smile back at in the mirror.

Copyright © Elizabeth Nathaniel | Year Posted 2011

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Kirby Magee-Dittberner Date: 11/4/2011 8:33:00 PM I liked it until the last line. I thought it was actually a very good love poem until I realized, "Nope, just another depressed adolescent girl." Don't take that too personally, you're a great writer, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. 7.   -KMD Login to Reply Elizabeth Nathaniel Date: 11/4/2011 10:38:00 PM haha sorry if I led you astray. I can see how it could be interpreted as a love poem, but it was really about learning to love yourself. :)