Sitting On a Rock In the Middle of a Gentle River

sitting on a rock in the middle of a gentle river collecting my thoughts and taking in the pain crying tears of regret and not caring about the relentless falling rain i continuously wonder 'what if' until i begin to aggressively shiver repetition used to be a friend of mine right along with a home nothing exists freely without her there with her influence and inspiration i always knew what it was to care now in the here and now of this modern life i needlessly roam the love of my life was called home by The King of Kings last year her decline came so quickly and swift was its cruel cold hand now all in life is so colorless and extremely bland i pray to God to bless me with some type of bravery because i now constantly live in fear