Sisyphus and Tantalus

I only wanted to cry so that I could cry out to you. When I cried did you hear me? I needed to speak so I could speak your name. Did I speak clear enough for your ears? I strived to walk so I could walk to you. When I walked did I reach you? I educated myself in the hopes of understanding you. Why are you so sovereign? All that I do is to reach you. Why do I not arrive? Now I know that I must die to be with you. Can you hold me while I suffer?